Carmen Read online

  Porter was sitting in his car, checking his email and on Facetime with his wife when Neezy walked out of Moses’s house and to his car.

  P honked the horn and told his Queen, “Babe, I’m going to hit you right back.”

  Mahogany rolled her eyes yet blew him a kiss all at the same time before disconnecting the video call.

  Neezy casually strolled over to the car and stuck his head down near the window.

  “Thought you would’ve had a chauffeur,” he joked. Knowing that he was now living the life. Something they always talked about doing. Back in the day, their bond was tighter than most. Porter made his way out. Neezy got comfortable.

  P smiled, “Sometimes I do,” he kept it gully.

  “It’s good to see you…”

  Neezy had more to say but his lips didn’t move.

  Porter didn’t need any gratitude. He knew their love and loyalty for one another was understood.

  Things were different; however, it was the money that hadn’t changed.

  “You don’t have to jump in on the land, but I should be pulling in about twenty million this time next year.”

  Porter nodded his head, “I believe you.”

  It wasn’t personal, he just wasn’t interested.

  “I have a homie that would probably love to hear more. I’m going to plug y’all together.”

  Neezy let him know in advance, “If they like the niggas downstairs I’m good.”

  He then mumbled, “Too many questions.”

  Porter chuckled, “He’s cool people, they are too. I think Big Mo caught everyone off guard with your arrival.”

  He wanted to add that his brother’s death should’ve taught him a valuable lesson and he needed to wrap the street shit up. But, he would digress. He knew how to mind his own damn business.

  “Like a thief in the night,” Neezy sung, lowly.

  Porter heard his voice and raised an eyebrow, “Let me find out you got the vocals…”

  Although he’d moved on to do greater things since his time in the music industry, Porter’s ear for sound and authentic talent, hadn’t gone anywhere.

  Neezy stuck his hand out and shook it, “Really good seeing you though. Proud too. You doing the damn thing.”

  He couldn’t help but to think…this man had changed. He now had a chilled personality and demeanor.

  Porter playfully reminded him, “Glad to see you done calmed down...”

  Neezy laughed heartily, “Whatever nigga. I’ll run into you soon, stay blessed.”

  He had to get going so he backpedaled from P’s whip and fell into his own, pulling off almost as soon as he cranked it up.

  He had a date with his niece that he couldn’t be late for.

  Four

  You’re such a fuckin woman – Lucky Daye

  His eyes scanned the large setting of Negril, a popular American-Caribbean joint in New York. Lira loved Jamaican food, something she most likely picked up from her mother.

  “Uncle!”

  That title could’ve belonged to any man currently dining at the restaurant today, but he knew the voice. He was Lira’s uncle. Her only uncle, since it had been just the two of them, he and his brother.

  He flashed her a head nod and ambled over to the small dining table where she was sitting.

  “Let’s switch seats.”

  Old habits die hard and he was way too paranoid to sit anywhere with his back facing the doors.

  Neezy wasn’t removed from the happenings of the streets and he and his brother’s name possessed the power to ring bells. Along with making a few niggas uncomfortable.

  “My mom told me to ask, are you still going to do that for her?”

  He had no idea what her crazy ass mother was talking about and the look on his face told it all. Lira shrugged her shoulders, “Those were her exact words.” She was no more than the messenger.

  Neezy sat back and stretched his legs, picking up the menu and scanning the left corner for an appetizer that looked appeasing. He was high and hungry.

  “I can’t wait till you go to school cus once you do it’s a wrap for your mother.”

  Lira loved her mom, despite the odds.

  “Well, who gon’ take care of her?” she seriously wanted to know.

  “She need to figure it out, not my problem. Or yours.”

  Lira was full of fire, “I wonder what my dad would say if he was here,” she knew she was shooting shots and throwing shade.

  He let it go over his head and then signaled for a waitress to come over.

  “Let me get a water in a to-go cup and a paper straw. Can I have the goat cheese salad with jerk salmon and a side of plantains? And whatever the kid wants.”

  “They got chicken and waffles…” she wondered why he didn’t get any breakfast.

  He sat the menu down and told his niece, “I gotta make a phone call.”

  Neezy walked out of the establishment since it was too loud for him to have a decent conversation.

  “Yo, yo. It’s me lil’ brother, I’m coming through when I come from uptown,” he told the person on the receiving end of the line.

  “Sounds good. I’ll have everything ready for you.”

  “Cool.”

  Neezy stood outside, collecting the fresh air into his lungs.

  He flashed some chick a smile because despite his spicy niece waiting on him and her thirsty ass mother, Nehemiah was truly blessed and today was going to be a good day.

  He returned to the table and thankfully, his plantains and water had arrived.

  Neezy said a quick prayer and dove in.

  “What you order?”

  Lira was texting away on her celly, “Oxtails, rice and peas.” After scanning the menu, she decided she didn’t want any breakfast either.

  “Extra gravy?”

  She looked up and flashed him a beautiful smile. Looking like his brother in the flesh.

  “You know it!”

  Neezy wiped his greasy hands on his pockets after he tossed a plantain in his mouth.

  “What schools are you interested in so far?” he would love to go with her to tour the colleges.

  “Uh, none.”

  Lira didn’t want to go to school but that wasn’t an option.

  He knew that he wasn’t her father and he wouldn’t try to be. Yet, he was second in command, in every aspect of Money’s life down to his daughter.

  Neezy shook his head slowly, “Okay, well we can change that. That’s the point of the tours.”

  Lira knew that he wouldn’t approve of her not going to school nor did she give a fuck. She would be seventeen soon and starting her senior year. Her plan was to graduate and make her peoples proud then that was it. She was done living for them.

  Including her uncle turned wanna-be daddy.

  “Yeah, for people that want to go to college. I think I’m going to apply at Saks. The employees get forty percent off on everything in the store,” she casually shared with him.

  The grimace on his face frightened her.

  “You getting a job for a discount? You want to spend your check at the place you plan on working at?”

  That was the stupidest plan he’d ever heard of.

  “Share with me some more of your goals, Lira,” he asked her, kindly.

  She rolled her eyes, “Listen, I don’t know what you thinking over there but let it go. I’m about to be grown and school not for everybody,” she let him know.

  Neezy shook his head. Her plan wasn’t set in stone. It couldn’t be and even if it was, there was plenty of time to go back to the drawing board.

  Ignorance was bliss.

  Her father wouldn’t be around for the most important years of her life. He could literally see her becoming a stubborn mule right before his eyes and he could only pray that it wasn’t too late. Her mother was brainless, and it was obvious that she was rubbing off on his niece.

  Neezy cleared his throat and tried a different approach.

  “Your father—" />
  “IS FUCKING DEAD,” she reminded him.

  Her eyes were cold, and he was quite sure that if he reached over and touched her heart it would be froze as well. Her pretty face was being concealed by a mask of hurt and abandonment.

  “But I’m not.”

  Neezy wouldn’t fight fire with fire while knowing that iron sharpened iron. His niece had it in her, it just needed to be pulled out.

  Luckily, their entrees arrived. They ate in silence and before he could request the check and invite her to a movie, Lira grabbed her purse and stormed off.

  He didn’t go after her although he was the adult. He too, was still a work in progress and kissing ass had never been his specialty. He finished his lunch, solo dolo and left an amount that he knew would cover their meals along with a hefty tip.

  Neezy handled his business, as he drove with almost four hundred grams of marijuana in the bottom of his trunk he sung Sade’s, Smooth Operator until he made it home.

  Another day.

  Another dollar.

  Things would pan out with Lira; the ancestors would make sure of it.

  As soon as he woke up from a nap he was surprised to see that he’d received an invite via text message from Porter inviting him to his daughter’s birthday.

  He reminded him that he didn’t have any children and would most likely be out of place. Porter suggested that he bring his niece and told him that his kids’ parties were enjoyable for all ages. He didn’t expect for the nigga to be reaching out and shit. It must’ve had something to do with their brief encounter over at Big Mo’s house.

  Neezy contemplated attending, knowing he would stick out like a sore thumb amongst all those rich ass niggas. He wasn’t broke but he wasn’t balling how they were either. He also didn’t need the pity invitation and thought about calling the nigga back to decline.

  An hour later, as he tried to use working out to distract him from missing his brother, he heard Money say, “Go to the party lil’ nigga.”

  He made a mental reminder to pick up a nice gift. Since P was well-off, and his wife was probably even wealthier, he had to come correct on his first visit to their house.

  His niece, Lira Facetimed him immediately after he sent the invitation and he asked was she free, hoping this would help smooth out the wrinkles forming between them.

  “Yo, yo,” he answered the video call.

  “Unc, even if I wasn’t free, I would cancel whatever plans I had. Nothing compares to this.”

  Lira processed the invitation all over again, “Oh my God, I don’t know what I’m going to wear,” she panicked suddenly.

  He shook his head, “P is like family, you don’t have to do all of that. I prefer you don’t,” he kept it real with her.

  “Everybody is going to be there,” she went on and on filling him in on their circle. Neezy didn’t have a clue on what she was talking about or who any of these people were nor did he care.

  He had always done his own thing and stayed in his lane.

  “You heard me?” she asked him after not getting any feedback from him.

  Neezy was bagging up a package for a client, “My bad, niece. What you say?”

  “My momma asked can she come with us? I think P knows her. He hugged her at the funeral.”

  He had to have a talk with Lira really soon. She told her momma too much. Neezy didn’t owe her anything.

  “No, she can’t. I’m going to hit you tomorrow.”

  “I’m in the middle of something right now.”

  As soon as they ended the call, his brother’s baby mama texted his phone and he didn’t even bother reading the message. She was on his bumper, and on his last nerve.

  Neezy was thankful he didn’t have any fucking kids right now. He’d always strapped up, refusing to be tied to a chick he didn’t love.

  He wanted a family and had enough patience to wait on the right one...whomever she was.

  He bagged the weed and then wrapped it in fabric softeners before placing it into a brown paper bag from the supermarket and then another bag. He always kept lawyer money put up in a stash in case he had to kill a nigga for trying to rob him. He only had himself out here, his brother was now dead and gone.

  Neezy looked over his shoulder before tossing the package into a brown work boot and stuffing it under a blanket in his trunk.

  Making it to every destination safely while hustling was a blessing.

  He sighed as he made the transaction and counted the money, thankful that it was all there. He didn’t miss the days of checking a nigga about the total being wrong. It was best that no one tried him. Once he made it back home, he lit a few candles and kicked it in front of the television. Peace to him was eating peanuts out the can and sipping on a glass of ice cold water with a few slices of lemons and lime. He missed his brother in a way that one would never understand until they lost a sibling who was their best friend.

  One day at a time, is what he constantly told himself as the tears streamed down his face.

  η

  The last seven days had been a blur and against her better judgment, Carmen came to the birthday party and was still unsure of the why. Her brother informed their small circle of friends turned family of her mother’s sudden departure…and when she arrived an hour or so late, everyone encircled her with hugs of sympathy and words of encouragement. Her faith was strong but wasn’t solid enough to prepare her for something of this nature. She couldn’t stop wiping her eyes while questioning her attendance at today’s event. In their circle, it was always something going on, and although she lived in California, she was often in New York, which helped her stay in the loop of everything.

  The reality of her life right now was a sad one.

  Carmen desperately wanted so bad to be in denial about what was possibly the truth of why her mother suddenly went away.

  She laid eyes on her son who was happy to be with other kids, a welcomed break from his grandparents’ abode.

  After making sure he was having fun, she excused herself from the ladies who were talking about shit that she really didn’t have a concern about right now. She needed a minute to herself and went inside of the Bavay’s house to take it.

  She was trying to brace and pace her mind and her beating heart but was internally and externally struggling.

  Regardless of how others may have felt about her, she didn’t thrive on attention or pity and preferred to cry – alone.

  She took a seat in one of the many rooms in the house and her bottom lip trembled which indicated that the tears were coming. Rapidly.

  A flood of her emotions waved over her and she couldn’t help but to sob like a newborn baby. Her mom was tired, so tired that she didn’t have the energy to pick up the phone and talk to her?

  She prayed that the moment came soon.

  “Are you okay?”

  A sassy voice paused her pain.

  She lifted her head from her damp lap and tried to put a name to the face, but she didn’t know her.

  “Who are you?”

  The girl crossed her arms across her little breast, “Lira. I’m Neezy’s niece. My daddy is Money, he died. Did you know him?”

  The name sounded familiar, but her mind was so fuzzy right now, she couldn’t even try to remember who he was or who Neezy was either.

  “Oh.”

  Carmen wanted to be alone. She prayed the young pretty girl took the hint and dipped.

  “Do you want me to go get someone?” she only asked because the lady’s cries alarmed her when she was closing the bathroom door and walking down the hallway to lead her back to the party.

  “No.”

  Carmen didn’t want anyone telling her that it was going to be okay because it wasn’t. Lira wanted to say more. She wanted to tell her that she resonated deeply with the look in Carmen’s eyes. But, she didn’t.

  “Okay.”

  Lira left her alone and kept it moving.

  She wanted to be with her momma right now and after calling her p
hone for the umpteenth time and not getting through she was over it. Carmen took a deep breath and decided to cut the outing short.

  Casey would make sure her son was straight, knowing Kniko wouldn’t want to leave with her. On top of her mom disappearing, she had to look in her son’s eyes and wish that he loved her as much as she loved him. He treated her as if she was the one that shot at his father. The tables had truly turned. Sadly, she didn’t have a clue on how to turn them back around so that they could be pointed in her favor.

  She headed back towards the front of the house and ran right into someone.

  “I am so sorry,” she apologized quickly.

  Carmen needed to get it together. Her mind was in the clouds and her heart was somewhere in the bushes.

  The stranger’s cologne greeted her before his voice did.

  “You good baby,” she heard a southern drawl mixed with a lil’ Northern flair.

  Carmen looked up and the oxygen that filled her lungs felt like it had been drained. Completely.

  He was a dream come true.

  A thought that she didn’t think could become reality.

  A smile graced her face as she thought about a recent conversation she had with Narie. Literally, not even seventy-two hours ago.

  “If, and baby listen closely, because it’s a big IF…I ever get married again. I want my husband to tower over me.”

  “I’m done dating little men...ewww. Gross,” she cringed as she thought about evil ass Keiter.

  “He has to be tall and mighty. Like Samuel. I want his skin to look edible. I’m talking about creamy like a melted cone of Butter Pecan. You know I love me some butter pecan ice cream. He must have rosy pink lips too. Stormy eyes that tells a story. I’m done dating simple-minded niggas.”

  She continued describing her dream man while Narie looked at her crazily.

  “You know what I’m going to just put it out there in case God is listening. Lord, give me a man that is carrying a broom in his jeans. God, I can’t fake another orgasm. Amazon prime done turned me into my own sex slave. I want a man that can please me. A man that prays. Sis, I want to hear his prayers reaching Heaven. Someone that rubs my feet without me having to tell him that I’d had a long day. He just does it because he wants to. A man that remembers my Starbucks order, picks me up cupcakes because he knows I love sweets. Someone that I don’t have to show how to love me…he already knows how.”